Let’s not forget that assumptions are the mother of all f-ups.

There are three words I say at least once a day.
And no, it’s not I love you.

It’s FIGHT WITH FACTS.

This is a business strategy I follow that has carried me through some very rough times. It has also spilled over to my private life. This strategy has become so intertwined with my life and thoughts; I can barely remember life before it.

Its easy to make assumptions.
We don’t see things the way they are. We see things the way we are.
The idea that I view the world and people around me from my own unique perception, scares me a little.

What if I have it wrong?

This is where the facts part come in. You simply cannot fault against facts.
Empirical evidence is my favorite choice of armor.

When I am presented with a problem or dilemma, I always defer to the facts.
I love facts. I can’t get enough of them.
If I don’t have all the details about a specific query or event, I will gather those facts like I work for the FBI. Nancy Drew has nothing on me.

Sometimes it’s hard to search for data when you are feeling emotional or done in.
This may be the toughest part of executing the fight with facts strategy.
Emotions are tricky little buggars. When you feel let down, all you want to do is react.
JUST DON’T.

Take a breath. Take a step back. Take a listen. Heck, take a swig of whiskey if you need it.
But whatever you do, don’t react.
Yet.

Gather your evidence. Make sure you see the full picture from an objective point of view. Look at all the angles. All the variables. Make sure you did not miss anything that has the potential to blow up in your face. Make sure you have all your feelings under wrap.

Double check your biases and triple check your research.

Only then, are you ready to react.

I like to think that each story has 3 sides to it.
My version, the other person’s version and somewhere in between lies the truth. Though the truth is subjective and sometimes you can have more than one version of the truth. Therefore, I need as much information that I can get my hands on.

My task is to collect the proof on black and white. I can’t make an informed decision if I don’t have the facts. I can’t react if I am unprepared.
I’m also not ready to react if I have the need to be right. The goal is to find the most accurate form of the truth – not necessarily to be proven right.

Find the need to be kind instead of right.

Once I have the facts laid out in front of me, I am armored for my fight.

And by fight, I don’t mean being aggressive or self-righteous.

I like to think that I am going into an intelligent battle, with the expectation to clear away wrongful ideas and misconceptions. The aim of this battle is to showcase the facts and make the truth rise to the surface.
There is no winner or loser here.
The only victors are the facts themselves.
They will set the truth free, clearing a path towards mutual understanding and agreement.

I don’t want to beat anyone.

I merely want to showcase the facts and hope that it can bring my opponent onto the path that I am walking on.
I don’t want to walk in front of them. I want to walk beside them with dignity and truthfulness.

They say that the truth will set us free. I would like to add that it can only be brought to pass with the help of kindness and compassion.

The truth will set us free if we battle it out within the amour of facts and kindness.