We’ve all been there – the sad song starts playing and you immediately visualize that person’s face.

Regrettably, human nature tends to gift us with a knack for remembering pain.
Sometimes we can even dwell on it to the point where it feels strangely comforting.

I suspect it is part of evolution and the instinct to keep ourselves safe.
If the hurtful memory is sharp, I will try to avoid such an experience in future.

My personal journey with this has been turbulent.

On the one hand this helps me stay focused on my survival.
On the other, it makes me delve into emotions I don’t really want to feel at a particular moment.

Problems arise when I don’t have the right balance in play.
If I get too comfortable with playing a negative narrative in my mind, it will begin to feel like home.

Heartache should never be my soft place to fall.

I have always believed that there are no “good” or ”bad” emotions.
All emotions are important and serve a purpose in my life.
Some are just felt or experienced in a more pleasant way than others.

No emotion should ever be pushed to the side.
If I do that, I’ll be in trouble.

All those feels are there to either teach me, guide me, help, or wake me.

Emotions serve to move or improve.

They can present themselves as lessons or blessings.

Pleasant feeling emotions can move me and make me feel great. They supply meaning and purpose to my life. These emotions are blessings.
Disagreeable emotions are there to help me improve. They serve as a warning sign that something needs to change or that I need to seek growth from a specific experience. These emotions are lessons.

It’s those not-so-nice emotions that I tend to pay more attention to when they pop up.
Not to wallow in them or re-play bad memories in my mind, but to try and understand why they are there and how I can ease their burden without losing their powerful lesson.

I have been using a mental checklist method which works well for me.

The song starts playing.
My ears hear the music.
The heart feels sore and the mind’s eye flashes the face of a person I do not want to think about.

Firstly, I acknowledge the emotions’ presence.
I work through the awkward feelings and I remind myself logically why I am feeling this way.
It’s the lesson.
The warning.
The red flag.

And then I thank those feelings of gloom.

I showcase all my gratitude and direct my attention to the future.

The face disappears.

I feel joy over the fact that I will always be cautious and vary.

I feel proud that I can learn, grow and be in control of my own happiness and destiny.

I have a lot of respect for my emotions and I recognize the power they can have over every aspect of my life.

When the song starts playing, I feel the short moment of pain and listen to it anyway.
Gratitude waves crash over my heartache and I feel an immense sense of peace.

Life, like music, should be savored and enjoyed: In good times and in bad.